PickTures

Miniature and selective portraits by prad.

From reading the title, you might think that I have trouble spelling. The thought had crossed my mind that such a thought would cross your mind and so I had to figure out a suitable answer to the contrary. That answer has taken the entire space of this introduction, so read on.

The word pickTures, doesn't really exist. It is a concatenation of pick and tures the latter being what's left over when you remove the first three letters from the word pictures. Go ahead and try it, if you don't believe me!

The stories I am about to relate to you in this blook are miniature portraits that I have picked. Now you can probably see the reasoning that went into creating the word pickTures - pictures that have been picked, so to speak. While this explanation doesn't quite prove I can spell, it certainly provided you with a good idea of what is to come.

In pickTures, you will catch glimpses of some of those I know, momentarily caught in a particular experience of their life. There are very few minor literary embellishments as allowed to any author for the sake of art. Neither have the names been altered to protect the guilty!

These stories may enlighten and possibly frighten you, admittedly at the expense of their subjects, but think of what I will have to deal with when these same subjects find out what I have revealed!

001 Ranjana in Ottawa

What you must realize is that Ranjana really was not (and is not) what she appears to be! I did not find this out for quite a while even though I had been tormented by her continuously since she was four! In the nation's capital, she and her cohorts unleashed a campaign of terror unrivalled even in fiction! Did they to it for ideology? No. For profit. No. They did it just for fun!

002 The Rikster

Riky the dog goes by a variety of names like Riky-Tiky or Rikle-Tickle-Pickle. He seems to be a black rotweiller-labrador-shepherd cross. This story lends itself best to his identity of being the Rikster. When we went to get him from the shelter, every dog was trying to get through the gate in their enclosure. It is sad to see the hope in each one's eyes, knowing that all but one will be disappointed.

003 Irreverence With Sass to Go

My friend Tricia walks her dogs Buddy and Sadie at the park. These walks are not only good for her dogs, but also good for the other people who are also walking their dogs, because being a dedicated, ethical vegan animal rights activist, she uses every opportunity to bring the plight of animals to the attention of anyone who will listen to her (and even to those who really don't want to listen to her).

004 The Old Man

Kyron's beginnings were what one might say rather coincidental. He actually tried very hard to arrive on my birthday, October 27. However, his mother, Ranjana wouldn't let him. Ranjana wanted a natural birth and enlisted the aid and guidance of not one, but two midwives, Jane and Larry, as well as Kelly, her own medical doctor. Unfortunately, she didn't listen to anything they said and did her own thing, so one does wonder what the point of having them around really was.

005 Wedaches

All anyone has to do is look without prejudice, and the similarities between weddings and funerals become obviously apparent. In fact, the two functions are nearly identical. Both are exorbitantly expensive. Both require all participants to dress in weird and uncomfortable outfits. Both have an abundance of tears, provided sometimes by hired help. Both have parties. And both are a celebration of the end of something. In fact, about the only difference is that in a funeral the center of attention at least enjoys the benefit of not being present.

006 The Pig Dog

Jumpr was originally called Gordon Whitefoot by the couple who got him from the SPCA. I guess they either liked Lightfoot's songs or they thought they were being nomenclaturely clever. Unfortunately, they didn't realize that this dog wasn't interested in singing, but in jumping over their 3 foot high fence. No matter how they tried to stop him, he got over it, so after a short while they returned him in frustration.

007 The Oh Ohs

I was reluctant to have the Oh-Oh's live here. It wasn't that I didn't like cats, but we already had two. Our first cat Chuchu better known as Oooochiii had recently died. She had found us more than 8 years ago and was a gentle, uncomplaining soul who had unfortunately lost the ability to use her hind legs. I remember the first day she showed up having miraculously evaded our dogs and sat looking up hopefully at my young son.

008 The Way of the Rabbit

Poppy is a beautiful silver rabbit whom we got from the SPCA as a companion to Gaw the philosophical guinea pig. So first let me tell you about Gaw even though this is not his story. Gaw was originally named Pansy for some completely inexplicable reason. We took him in because the people he was staying with couldn't keep pets. We couldn't either, but when I explained to our landlords that my son was so desperate to have a little friend that he was playing with and even naming the woodbugs, they relented.

009 A Far, Far Better Thing

Ranjana had been bad! Very bad! This should come as no surprise to anyone who had read about her escapades in the nation's capital. However, this time she wasn't doing in some politician or other. She'd managed to do herself in! Now those of you who know something about Ranjana may not be aware of the 'dark' side which she keeps hidden so well. After all, she puts on a such a charming, considerate demeanour that who could possibly have guessed that this is the person who caused the demise of three of Canada's most prominent leaders!