Stop The Oppression Permanently
Recruiting Station
ESA does it!
This page will explain what role you can play as an e-soldier to better lives and the planet! The present esoldier count is 17.
- What is an e-soldier?
- Why are e-soldiers necessary?
- I love the consequences part! What can we do to them?
- How can I contact DP?
- What is the correct attitude I should have?
- How do I know what to do and when to do it?
- What happens if I don't send out the email?
- OK!! I want to enlist right away!
What is an e-soldier?
E-soldier stands for electronic soldier - specifically someone who does battle against the forces of ignorance, cruelty and other evil stuff like that by contacting decision-makers and politicians (DP) encouraging them to smarten up and follow the path of goodness.
Why are e-soldiers necessary?
Someone has to let the DP know their actions are not only being watched, but that there will be consequences!
I love the consequences part! What can we do to them?
There are many legal actions you can take such as:
- Let them know that you think their actions are irresponsible and neanderthal. That way they'll get the idea that you probably don't like what they are doing.
- Say nasty things to them - very politely of course - so they feel a deep sense of remorse for their misdeeds.
- Call them names again with the greatest accuracy and eloquence - so they understand that you are not the savage you are portraying them to be.
- Threaten boycott of their city, business, activity and tell them you will get your friends to do the same. This particular action is likely more effective than any of the above three, because even DP, despite their callousness will feel any attack on that wallet positioned close to their gluteus maximus!
How can I contact DP?
The preferred mode of communication is email. Remember that you shouldn't spend too much time composing a nasty one in the hopes of having it nominated for a Pulitzer Prize! There is a possibility that it may not even be read and appreciated for its literary brilliance. However, when there is a volume of emails all saying "We don't like what you are doing and we're going to let a lot of people know", the demographers get worried because they know that for each email, there will be a percentage of the population who share the same viewpoint. When demographers get worried, DP starts to panic and the ache near the gluteus maximus intensifies!
What is the correct attitude I should have then?
As an e-soldier you should not worry about whether your letter results in victory. An army is successful when its fighters work together and stay consistent. Therefore, you should
- Respond to each call to action.
- Send your email to the respective parties.
- Handle any responses (some DP have the courtesy to reply).
You should also understand that many DP are actually encouraged by your email because they feel exactly the way you do. They may have been outnumbered in the town clowncil and will see your email as motivation to fight for the right thing!
How do I know what to do and when to do it?
You will receive an email for each call to action with a link that will take you to a page where you'll find 3 sections:
- Action: email links in convenient form for you to use.
- Statement: sample letters which you may copy/paste or modify.
- Evidence: background info and resources so you know what's up.
Our campaigns are available for examination under Sortie.
What happens if I don't send out the email?
Well soldier! Going AWOL isn't good for your cause is it?
What is required is a commitment by you to carry out the task at hand. Sending emails takes less than half-a-minute ... just a few clicks of your mouse!
We fully understand that sometimes you may be unable to answer the call due to various legitimate reasons.
However, if you can't spend less than a minute to send an email that may change the lives of many sentient beings, then you may need to go to boot camp and prepare further to be an e-soldier!
OK!! I want to enlist right away!
To enlist, you need to provide a statement of your commitment to Commander-in-Chef, Activition Division Assistant (or CICADA for short since the other stuff is really pretty long):
If your application is accepted, you will be placed on the e-soldier special forces list and start receiving assignments!