pickTures

#001

Ranjana in Ottawa

What you must realize is that Ranjana really was not (and is not) what she appears to be! I did not find this out for quite a while even though I had been tormented by her continuously since she was four!

In the nation's capital, she and her cohorts unleashed a campaign of terror unrivalled even in fiction! Did they to it for ideology? No. For profit. No.

They did it just for fun!

Their first victim was none other than Robert Stanfield leader of the Progressive Conservatives and aspirant to the highest office in the country.

One fine morning the unsuspecting Robert was engaged in his peaceful stroll down the street when he was spotted by Ranjana's gang. Always needing to maintain the reputation for outrageosity at Elmwood Private School for Girls (deceptive title is it not?), they descended en masse upon the hapless individual, all three of them! They wanted to tell the other seniors at school that they had bumped into Robert Stanfield, so they went and bumped into Robert Stanfield (I have no reports as to whether he was left standing).

No doubt you are aware, the poor man was never quite the same afterwards. He had to give up the leadership of his party. He had to retire from politics altogether. I think he eventually died.

Who next other than the elegant Pierre Trudeau in his prime, married to Margaret and with children! It was too much for Ranjana and her gang to resist. They felt the urge to do something extraordinary. So they tried to invade the home of Pierre and Margaret under the guise of babysitting the children. Can you imagine what might have transpired had the security men guarding the home not stopped them just before these two innocent-acting high-school students had almost convinced the butler and maid that they were here to look after Maggie's children?

What followed is well documented. Maggie lost her mind and took off with the Rolling Stones. Pierre bravely struggled on for a few more years only to be ousted by none other than Joe 'who?' Clark before relinquishing the party leadership (sound familiar)? Then eventually he died too.

Finally (at least I think he was the last, but who am I to know?), Ranjana's gang went after John Turner! This was so sordid an attempt, so vicious an attack that Ranjana almost did it alone - even her grade 12 colleague felt forced to stand on the sidelines as you will see. Both entered the crowded shopping mall. Ranjana's partner in crime could not handle the scene though - everyone has a line they do not cross, not for ideology, not for profit, not even for fun. She stood apart watching Ranjana dressed in pajamas, a raincoat and oversized sunglasses pirouette around and around in circles, getting closer and closer to John. Then Ranjana was behind him! He turned around! His eyes fell upon the medusan menace that was confronting him!

As you may well know, it proved to be too much for John. He desperately tried to cling to his sanity going for his party's leadership. He barely succeeded and only because the delegates were kind to a traumatized man. However, his confidence was shot. He could not hold his composure against the notorious Mulroney. He faltered in the debates, he appeared like a madman on camera, he was scandalized for patting the bottoms of members of his party (even his supportive wife told reporters "He shouldn't do that. Let me know if he does!"). Lost and bewildered, I fear he too will eventually die.

So now you are among the few who this has been revealed to. Not everyone's mettle is durable enough to know certain things.